Kirk Franklin says he and his wife, Tammy, engaged
in “the worst fight” of their marriage 20 years ago
and has decided to share the fallout from that
incident so others can learn from his mistakes.
The music producer and songwriter posted a photo
on Instagram Monday of him and his wife
embracing in an airport. Two decades ago,
however, the entertainer revealed that a less
pleasant scene took place at the same unnamed
airport.
“Twenty years ago me and Tammy (bad grammar)
had the worst fight at this very spot. Married for just
a couple of months we had a fight right here as
soon as we landed,” he captioned the image. “Being the hot headed fool I was, I bought her a
plane ticket and told her to go back home while I
headed to my performance. … Such a fool.
Looking back, Franklin said he realized how his
actions affected his wife.
“It hurt her, like it should have … to be so easily
sent away. See, I was a runner when I was
younger, I’d push you away out of fear of you
leaving on your own,” he admitted. “Tammy
tolerated way more than she should have. I sat in
that airport and cried like baby, delaying the concert.”
Franklin admitted that he begged his wife for
forgiveness, which in turn made him realize her
patience and how that shaped their relationship.
“Thank God she did. Never did that again, and now
look at us! A patient (not foolish) woman can
change a man’s narrative,” he wrote. “Give him a
chance or two to grow up, but don’t make a sequel
out of it. Glad that scene of the movie is over!”
Last year, Franklin shared other marital mistakes he
made as a newlywed in an effort to help men learn
and grow in their own relationship. In a blog
posted on Patheos, Franklin said that while he was eating at a restaurant with his wife his attention
was focused on another woman.
Instead of causing a scene, Franklin’s wife gave him
an ultimatum. He recalled her speaking with “the
quietness of a lamb, yet the authority of a soldier,”
while letting him know that she would not allow
him to look at both the woman and his wife.
After 20 years of marriage, Franklin chose his wife,
Tammy. Still, he recalls the root of the real struggle
he faced years ago.
“I had old habits I developed before I understood
that salvation and sanctification were two different
things and took some old hurtful habits into my
marriage: promiscuity, a carnal approach to putting
the past behind me, childhood addictions of
pornography,” Franklin wrote. “Of course, my wife’s shoulders were not built for my unhealthy
past. I almost crushed her in the beginning of our
marriage, because one woman cannot keep up the
performance of several. God never intended her
to.”
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