New Article By Da Boomsha – Cookies From Ukraine


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(This is an allegory..all semblances to real persons
and places are very well-intended)

Side A – Love At First Bite

I have a thing for Ukrainian cookies..brown-
crusted on the outside..all cream and butter on the
inside..eazy on the palatte..soothing on the
tongue..a delight for anyone wt a sweet tooth..

I found love while flipping thru the pages of a
magazine and beheld this cookie jar brimming wt
ukrainian cookies..My fingers trembled as I traced
the outline of the jar on the glossy page of the
magazine..aaah..what do we have here? I had to
have those cookies..I hurriedly tapped away at the keys of my PC as I made an online order for them
beauties..

The reply came a while later via e-mail..the cookies
will bẹ delivered to me as ordered..but..it would
take some time to arrive..probably next year..Мy
heart skipped and took a nose-dive into my
boots..no cookies from ukraine this year! ..not even
in time for christmas..could I wait it out? I chewed my fingertips as I contemplated the dreary months
that stretched endlessly ahead..My insecurities were
eating me alive..

You see,it wasn’t the first time I had being made to
wait for a stretch of time before taking delivery of a
jar of exotic cookies I had pre-ordered
online..well,by the time my cookies arrived the last
time,they had moldered and become stale and
damp..tasteless and offering no real comfort to a man wt a sweet tooth..and that was the way the
cookie crumbled..now here I was facing a similar
ordeal..

Lord knows,I loved those ukranian cookies!..but
the uncertainty of it all gave no assurrance to a man
on the rebound from disillusionment..once
bitten,twice shy..or so my grandmother would say..
Or was it my grandfather?..Anyway..I chickened
out..Yea,i cancelled my order..did a straight Judas on those cookies..Ermh, was I wrong? For letting
my head rule my heart? Did I throw my happiness
away? I don’t know..I guess time is the only true
judge of these things..but occasionally i would
sneak back to that magazine and gaze upon those cookies and wonder..М̣̇y cookies from Ukraine..

Side B – The Cookie Monster

“OMG!” I exclaimed when I got the
news..stupefied..my mind staggered at the
possibilities..
“Are U̶̲̅ for real,Debbie?” I stammered as i quizzed
my friend “Yes”,she replied..”I confirmed from their
sales representative in Lagos..” Shiver my timbers! Cookies from Ukraine..Now in
Nigeria! Chai! Chineke must bẹ involved.

Just as I had decided to take a trip Upnorth..a
consignment of Ukranian cookies had arrived the
country..and guess where they were
headed..Abuja! Hmmm.. God and his mysterious
ways..I quickly placed a call to their confectionary
store in Abuja and got an affirmative response..I couldn’t wait to behold those cookies!

But when I arrived at the place,I got a lukewarm
reception from the Sales Rep..You see,I hadnt been
a very loyal customer..the last time I had placed an
order for those cookies,I had cancelled at the last
minute due to the uncertainty of the delivery
date..she had told me they wouldn’t bẹ ready before christmas..so I had turned tail and fled..a
frightened cookie monster..

Now here I was contemplating those cookies and
biting my nails in agitation..they winked devilishly
at me from the safety of the showcase..
“Hello from the outside” I crooned
“Look,but don’t touch” replied the Sales Rep
Then she added saucily “They are bound for Liberia”

Stung to the quick,I launched into a tirade about
how much I had desired to have those cookies and
that I was at least worthy of some kindly
consideration..but she wasn’t in the mood for long
speeches..the wench was implacable..

So I walked away after stealing another longing
look at those cookies..and told myself..Next time i
would be brave..if I had burnt my bridges..then I
would build a raft and sail my way back..Like a
countless others who had loved and lost..this
time,the cookie monster would wait..

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